It’s amazing how I broke today,
While I stared at the jet trails, Wishing they were roads in the sky. I don’t know how it happened, And I don’t know why. The thing is, for once, it wasn’t at your hands, I’m recovering, bit by bit, Somehow, I made it to this point, And until now, I wouldn’t believe you If you said that I could What if I told you, I never needed you to survive through the night. You don’t have to say a word, Or embarrass yourself and apologize, I’m alive, and that’s all that matters to me. I don’t need your venomous words, I’m no longer addicted to them. Because of you, I can’t tell if anyone who’s ever nice to me Has good intentions, Or if there’s any kind of way I’m not hopeless, Or if there’s anything about me to love. The thing is, I’m picking myself up I’m recovering, bit by bit, Sure, you’ll always laugh at whatever I do, But you won’t ruin it for me anymore. I have no reason to be afraid of you. Those were just words, They were all in my head if I tried hard enough, But there you were, clear as day, And you cut right through me. Still, you’ll probably read this and wonder Just why I bother over-thinking these things. They were just jokes, just games, And I should have just laughed along. Still, I’m alive, and that’s all that matters to me. Your words were nothing but venomous Just below the surface, And I’m no longer addicted to them.
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December 2019
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