Gracie is working on this personal narrative about an important event from her life. Let her know what you think in the comments below! Broken Leg
Last year I had a tragic thing happen to me. On christmas day I was sitting on a hoverboard when I froze and lost control of the board. As I was flying down the hill I stuck out my leg to brace myself and hit a parked car. All I remember is feeling like throwing up from all the shock, my dad threw me in the car and we drove to the hospital. When we were driving I felt my foot flip behind my leg and started crying and screaming in shear pain. When we got to the hospital I got very stressed and mad at the front desk people because they were slow and asked many questions. When I thought it couldn’t get worse I was told I shattered my tibia and fibula plus I would have to transfer hospitals for surgery. The drive to the other hospital was terrible and felt like 3 hours. After my 12:00 pm surgery my parents and I were informed that my lungs got clogged, I had tubes stuck up my nose to keep me alive when I was being rushed to ICU and could have had permanent lung damage. Right now I am almost fully healed and am back to running and playing sports.In a few months I get to get my rods out after 2 full leg casts, 3 boots and a 9 month recovery so I am so thankful to be finally healed.
6 Comments
Sophie Kotas
9/18/2018 08:41:17 am
This is a awesome story, so glad that you are still up and running! I would have probably died of a panic attack. Seriously, maybe just add a bit more detail, id like to know more of how it felt, maybe some imagery.
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Nathaniel Dearing
9/18/2018 10:34:37 am
I enjoyed reading this piece, one of deep tragedy and suspense! It was easy to empathize and imagine, I'm glad you bounced back up. Now, I know that demonstrates no help, other than a surging feeling inside, but you would need a suggested tweak. It was a well-done piece, but I think you could've dug deeper with the detail, describe the bitter pain, the searing impatience, dwell on everything just a bit. Try showing, while the telling is good, some pieces where you're directly in the moment would sway more of the audience's heed.
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Trey J
10/29/2018 08:42:37 am
wow! that's crazy! i broke my leg once,but it was nothing compared to that!
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Lily Taylor
11/7/2018 09:01:01 am
Great story Gracie! If I was in that situation I would be terrified. Maybe just add a little bit more detail then your story will be even more awesome!
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Kate Chesney
12/3/2018 08:21:00 am
Really good! Try to stretch out the events to make them seem longer. Other than that it was very detailed!
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Victoria and Aaliyah
1/11/2019 08:43:00 am
I love the content of your storie. It made me feel like I was there.
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